Those of us who aren't comfort eaters can find it very difficult to choke down any food when we're upset. Sometimes it's like a kind of grief-inspired anorexia that makes people unable to eat (loss of appetite, nausea at the thought of food), but it can also be a self-imposed punishment due to survivor's guilt. Unfortunately, not eating inevitably compounds the issue, as hunger can cause lightheadedness, anxiety, insomnia, and countless other issues that just make everything so. much. worse.
Proper nutrition isn't just a beneficial thing to think about once in a while; it keeps us alive and thriving, and it's vital that those who are hurting manage to consume something, anything, that will help keep them going and help them heal.
People who find it difficult to eat when they're grieving often have an easier time drinking fluids. Soothing broths are ideal to prepare for them if this is the case, as well as thin juices and smoothies like the one I'm sharing here. This bright, Vitamin C-packed smoothie was one that I made for a friend of mine when she was going through a really rough patch after a loss: although it took some time for her to be able to eat solid food, she found that smoothies like this one were both enjoyable and easy to drink when she felt like her throat was too tight for anything heavier.
(By heavier, I mean anything with bananas, yogurt, protein powder, or anything else that will thicken it into a goopy sludge. As healthy as kale/avocado/spirulina shakes may be, they're very thick and can be difficult to swallow when one's throat is constricted from emotion. Besides, anything that looks like pureed grasshoppers wouldn't make it onto my list of appetizing comfort food.) ;)
Sunrise Smoothie Ingredients:
- 2 ruby red grapefruits, peeled and sectioned (you might need to seed them too, depending on your juicer)
- 2-3 honey tangerines/tangelos, or 4-5 satsumas, peeled and sectioned
- 2 cups strawberries*, stems removed
- Water
Preparation:
Put the grapefruit and tangerine sections through your juicer, and allow every sweet drop to accumulate in the container. If you feel it necessary, pour a tablespoon or two of water through the juicer to get any last bits out.
Transfer the juice to a blender, toss in the strawberries, and process until liquefied. Pour into a tall smoothie glass and refrigerate any leftovers. If bringing this to a friend or relative, a Mason jar makes a great container as it can also double as a drinking glass.
When making juices and smoothies, aim for the best quality produce you can find. Organic is best, and local fruits and vegetables have had more time to ripen in the sun than those picked in other countries and shipped in long-haul trucks over the course of a few weeks.
*I like to make this with frozen strawberries, especially if I have to choose between organic frozen, or regular fresh ones. Not only are the organic ones more flavourful, but adding a frozen element makes this a beautiful cold drink for a hot summer day.
<3
When my father died, our friends and neighbours were incredibly generous with their food gifts—so much so that we ended up freezing half of what was given to us, and we were able to defrost portions for several weeks' worth of meals. Those dishes were highly appreciated, but after 17 different variations (each) of tuna casserole and baked cheesy pasta, we were close to developing scurvy.
Thick, cheesy pastas and creamy casseroles are ultimate comfort food dishes, but not only are they the default foods that most folks prepare, but they're also incredibly rich and heavy. The salad recipe that I'm sharing here is as close as I've been able to get to re-create the one that was given to us by a friend of the family during those dark days, and it's pretty much the polar opposite of heavy and creamy.
Our neighbour was a lovely Mexican lady named Marisol, and she was like a little ball of sunshine when she gave us a bowl full of spiced beans, corn, and orange peppers... and I can't even begin to tell you how much we appreciated its brightness during that time.
Not only is this salad a veritable symphony of flavours, colours, and textures, it's packed with vitamins and protein. Hers was also full of chopped cilantro, but since I'm one of only five people on the planet who like that herb, I chose to omit it here.
Ingredients:
- 2 445ml (15 oz) cans of black beans, drained and rinsed well
- 1 250ml (8.5 oz) can of corn kernels, drained
- 1 yellow, orange, or red pepper, diced (you can also use green pepper to cut down on sweetness)
- 1 medium tomato, seeded and diced, OR a handful of cherry tomatoes, seeded and quartered
- 2 small tomatillos, diced
- 1 green onion, sliced thinly
- 1 ripe avocado, peeled and diced
- 1 chipotle pepper in adobo sauce, minced finely (optional)
- 2 1/2 tablespoons olive oil
- 3 tablespoons fresh lime or lemon juice
- 1 teaspoon ground cumin
- Salt
- Black pepper
Preparation:
In a large bowl, combine the beans, corn, chopped pepper, tomato, tomatillos, onion, and avocado.
Drizzle with the olive oil, lime juice, and cumin. If you feel that it needs more acidity, add a bit more lime or lemon juice, or even a splash of wine vinegar. Add salt and pepper to taste.
If you'd like to add a bit of gentle heat to the salad, add in the minced chipotle, as it'll add warmth and spice without scorching any tongues. Most grocery stores carry it in their Mexican food section, but if not, you should be able to find it in a Mexican or South American grocery store.
You can also bulk this salad up to make it heartier by adding a cup of cooked quinoa or pasta to it, but it's really just beautiful and refreshing all on its own.
This recipe isn't paleo—no beans or corn allowed on that diet—and has to be completely re-worked to be AIP (autimmune paleo) compliant, as all nightshades are forbidden because they're inflammatory & cause a lot of grief. When I make this for myself, I have to eliminate the beans, corn, tomatoes, tomatillos, and chipotle... which pretty much just leaves the onion, avocado, and lime juice. Huzzah. Cumin is also a no-no with the AIP protocol, but I don't react badly to it; others might. Best to ask.
For an AIP version, I use diced, roasted sweet potatoes, chopped jicama, and diced cucumbers, and I also double the amount of avocado. Olive oil and lime juice are totally okay, but if I'd like a bit of heat without using any peppers, I'll add a bit of homemade horseradish sauce.
This is the kind of salad that can be adjusted in countless ways, whether to use what you have at hand, or to adapt to another's personal tastes. For those who prefer sweeter dishes, try swapping out the avocado for diced mango instead: the flavours meld rather beautifully.
“Neighbors bring food with death and flowers with sickness and little things in between."
- Harper Lee
Preparing food to share with the grieving can be tricky in the summer months. Autumn and winter are ideal for hot, soothing soups, stews, and casseroles, but few feel like eating warm food when the weather is sweltering.
For my first offering here, I'm sharing my mother's potato salad recipe—the same one that nourished me after that first funeral I attended over 30 years ago. It's one of a few dishes that we've always been asked to make for family gatherings of all kinds, and so help me, as soon as we've heard bad news from anyone in our circle, someone gets the water boiling while another starts peeling potatoes.
It's a very simple dish, but one that's both comforting and nourishing on what seems to be a cellular level. You can double or even quadruple the recipe if you're preparing it for a memorial service buffet, or just make a single batch if you're delivering food to an individual or small family.
Ingredients:
- 2 lbs cooked Yukon Gold or white potatoes (6 medium), cooled, peeled, and cubed
- 2 hardboiled eggs, chopped coarsely
- 1 green onion or 4-5 chives, thinly sliced
- 1 tbsp shredded carrots
- 1-3 dill pickles, minced (or as few/many as you like, depending on preferred pickle-y-ness)
- 2 tablespoons white or cider vinegar, or brine from the pickle jar
- 1 cup mayonnaise*
- Salt and pepper
- Paprika
Preparation:
Pour the cooled cubed potatoes into a large bowl and toss with vinegar. Allow to sit for a few minutes.
Add the chopped eggs, pickles, green onion, carrots, and mayonnaise, and toss to coat well.
Season with salt and pepper to taste, give it another good stir, and refrigerate until cool. Sprinkle with a bit of paprika before serving, if desired.
I don't have many true recipes per se, in that I don't have specific measurements for various ingredients and just sort of toss dishes together until they taste right. If you make this salad, please adjust it to your own tastes, as adding or changing ingredients can create some fabulous variations.
For example, if I'm just making this salad for my husband and I, I'll toss in a generous amount of chopped capers and minced fresh dill, whereas the version my in-laws make is packed with diced celery and white onion.
Adding some chopped fresh herbs like parsley, dill, chervil, or tarragon adds a bit more greenery and a higher nutritional content, and if someone is on a low-carb or paleo diet, you can also make this with a mixture of cubed cooked sweet potatoes, rutabagas, and turnips in lieu of regular potatoes.
For a vegan version, you can use Vegenaise or even pureed avocado, and omit the hardboiled egg.
Skip the paprika if someone is on the AIP diet or is otherwise nightshade free.
*My mother makes her potato salad with a 50/50 mixture of mayonnaise and Miracle Whip dressing, but that gives it a sweetness that some may find strange when paired with pickles and onions.
